Bear, the site admin – honestly couldn’t give a flying shit about GDPR. He has significantly more terrible things to concern himself with, namely;
Hunting Season, smashing up bee hives to get honey, when to hibernate, deforestation, escaping angry bees, hunters (yes I know, this is duplication but he worries about hunting a lot) and copulating. Seriously, if Bear had to list the top 100 things he gives a fuck about, GDPR wouldn’t get a look in.
1. Your Data
This website exists only to capture pictures of Bears on their mother-fucking-holidays, so yes, we will process your pictures of Bears, right here on these pages, for as long as we damn well want. (Ed. bit aggressive isn’t it?)
If you ask us to stop showing your bear pictures by emailing us at [email protected] then we’ll probably ignore the email – because seriously, who changes their mind about Bear pictures. Grow up.
2. Cookies, tracking and social media
What has Facebook ever done for Bears. Nothing – we despise Facebook, (nearly as much as Bear hunters) so we don’t track you with their shit pixel tracking tools, or track your use to try and sell you shit on Facebook or anywhere else for that matter.
If you use Facebook you deserve to be very badly mauled by an 800lb angry kodiak. There, I said it. (Ed, everything OK at home Bear?)
You can’t purchase anything on this site, so of course we don’t store any payment information, seriously, what were you thinking, you total dick. (Ed, seriously Bear, this anger level is really excessive, you might want to calm-the-fuck-down)
4. You rights
You have the right to be deleted if you want, or submit a subject access request, all of that good GDPR stuff, just email us at [email protected] and we’ll literally ignore you for like, ever.
Seriously we can’t even remember why this site exists, I think it was about caching, oh yeah, it was an experiment on how much load an image heavy site could handle under different image caching approaches.
But now, none of the Bears can remember anything about how the site works, so in reality your data is pretty safe – I mean, if we can’t remember how to get to it, you’re golden.
We hate twitter as well, seriously that’s bad for your health.
(Well, that was a fascinating yet alarming peek inside Bear’s head – I won’t ask him to do anything like this again, ever)